Friday, February 19, 2010
Things are different.
Since no one really reads my blog anymore, ever since I switched to tumblr, I guess I'm going to rant about my life so I can get it out of my system.
Lately, I've been gaining weight, trying to lose it through cutting down on food and ab workouts and all that running in badminton, but days later, I would binge again, then stop and the cycle repeats. I hate my body now, and I can feel myself getting bigger. I didn't get to see Henry at the Tet Festival, and he still hasn't called to apologize.
At school, I feel really left out, especially in badminton. When I hang out with my friends, I just watch them talk, and I'm barely in the conversation anymore. I also heard that Vanida is annoyed of me, which makes me more sad. Today at lunch, everyone except Karen and Eleanor left the bench to do their own thing, and I was just standing there listening to them talk. && When everyone came back, I was still feeling left out. Especially when Sam and Vanida were sitting next to me making up a song, and all I could think was "I wish I was apart of it." In badminton, I'm also left out. I'm always running by myself because I'm 2nd to slowest out of everyone, and it makes me feel really bad even though I try really hard. && When we were choosing groups, I became really sad when Alex and Aaron didn't call me into their group, and they were both choosing their friends. But thank god Allen knew that people would do that so he made them choose a new group consisting of people that were not in their original group.
&& When we were at practice, Diane left me so I had no one as my partner to play games. Colina said at first the she would play a game with me, but she ended up going with Melissa. And after their game I asked Colina again, and she said okay, then Melissa told me to go find a new partner(not in a mean way, it was just cause they had already won enough games to not be able to get the court again.) So I ended up just playing with Alex Ly. Even my brother wouldn't come pick me up so I almost cried in the gym cause of how he treats me, luckily Allen was able to take me home.
I'm starting to hate my life right now. No, I'm not being dramatic, it's just that things have built up for so long I'm starting to crack.
Lately, I've been gaining weight, trying to lose it through cutting down on food and ab workouts and all that running in badminton, but days later, I would binge again, then stop and the cycle repeats. I hate my body now, and I can feel myself getting bigger. I didn't get to see Henry at the Tet Festival, and he still hasn't called to apologize.
At school, I feel really left out, especially in badminton. When I hang out with my friends, I just watch them talk, and I'm barely in the conversation anymore. I also heard that Vanida is annoyed of me, which makes me more sad. Today at lunch, everyone except Karen and Eleanor left the bench to do their own thing, and I was just standing there listening to them talk. && When everyone came back, I was still feeling left out. Especially when Sam and Vanida were sitting next to me making up a song, and all I could think was "I wish I was apart of it." In badminton, I'm also left out. I'm always running by myself because I'm 2nd to slowest out of everyone, and it makes me feel really bad even though I try really hard. && When we were choosing groups, I became really sad when Alex and Aaron didn't call me into their group, and they were both choosing their friends. But thank god Allen knew that people would do that so he made them choose a new group consisting of people that were not in their original group.
&& When we were at practice, Diane left me so I had no one as my partner to play games. Colina said at first the she would play a game with me, but she ended up going with Melissa. And after their game I asked Colina again, and she said okay, then Melissa told me to go find a new partner(not in a mean way, it was just cause they had already won enough games to not be able to get the court again.) So I ended up just playing with Alex Ly. Even my brother wouldn't come pick me up so I almost cried in the gym cause of how he treats me, luckily Allen was able to take me home.
I'm starting to hate my life right now. No, I'm not being dramatic, it's just that things have built up for so long I'm starting to crack.
End Of This Post.
10:36 PM
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10:36 PM
0 commented